Releasing the Unhealthy & Standing on Business with Boundaries

“Sometimes peace costs people.” – Unknown

Stand On Business w/ Boundaries

The Decision to Let Go: A Mental Health Milestone

Removing someone from your life whether it’s a friend, family member, partner, or even a long-time associate is never easy. But choosing your peace, healing, and mental health over toxic familiarity is one of the most courageous decisions you can make.

This moment is not about being heartless; it’s about being whole. It’s about “standing on business” a cultural phrase meaning you’re holding firm to your values, enforcing your boundaries, and no longer tolerating what drains you.

The Butterfly Theory: Growth Requires Shedding

The butterfly theory reminds us that transformation begins in darkness. Before a caterpillar becomes a butterfly, it must cocoon itself in isolation, dissolving everything it once was. The discomfort is necessary. The isolation is sacred. And what emerges is free.

Releasing unhealthy people from your life is your cocoon moment. It may feel lonely, scary, and even painful, but it’s the beginning of your becoming.

Emotional Journey: The Waves of Letting Go

Hurt

You may feel betrayed, abandoned, or angry. The decision may not be mutual. Some ties are severed abruptly. Others slowly unravel. Hurt is valid.

Guilt & Doubt

You may question yourself:

• “Am I being too harsh?”

• “What if they change?”

• “What if I’m the problem?”

This is common. But boundaries are not punishment. They are self-protection.

Grief

You’re not just grieving the person. You’re grieving the potential, the history, the idea of who they could have been. Let yourself mourn that.

Anger or Resentment

Once the sadness fades, you may feel resentment toward how much time or energy you gave. Use that fire to fuel new boundaries, not to burn yourself twice.

Relief and Freedom

As time passes, a new feeling arises: relief. You feel lighter. More peaceful. More you. That’s the healing.

The Power of Boundaries

Boundaries are where you end and someone else begins. They are not selfish. They are acts of love for yourself.

Types of Boundaries:

• Emotional (not being someone’s dumping ground)

• Time (not always available on demand)

• Physical (personal space, body autonomy)

• Digital (limiting social media access or texts)

• Energetic (protecting your peace)

“People who respect you will respect your boundaries. People who don’t will reveal themselves.” – Unknown

Coping Tips to Let Go & Grow

Name the Emotion: Journal what you’re feeling. Hurt? Betrayal? Fear? Naming helps with processing.

Create Closure for Yourself: You may never get an apology. You may never get “closure” from them. Create it for yourself. Write a letter you don’t send. Burn it. Release.

Surround Yourself with Safe People: People who celebrate your growth, not guilt you for it.

Ground Yourself in the Present: Practice deep breathing, nature walks, or mindfulness to stay grounded.

Limit Re-Exposure: Unfollow, mute, or block if necessary. Protecting your peace is not petty.

Therapy or Support Groups: Speaking with a mental health professional can help validate your feelings and guide your healing.

Use Positive Self-Talk: Your mind believes what you repeat.

Positive Affirmations for Releasing & Rising

• “I choose peace, even when it’s hard.”

• “I honor the pain, but I do not stay in it.”

• “Boundaries are my bridge to self-respect.”

• “I let go of what weighs me down so I can rise.”

• “I am not too much. I am just enough for the right people.”

• “Healing doesn’t mean I forget. It means I remember without bitterness.”

• “I don’t chase closure. I create peace.”

Steps to Begin Your Journey to Peace & Happiness

Step 1: Acknowledge the Problem

Reflect honestly: Is this person draining your energy, disrespecting your boundaries, or stunting your growth?

Step 2: Get Clear on Your Boundaries

Write them down. “I will no longer tolerate…” and “I deserve relationships that…”

Step 3: Prepare for the Emotional Fallout

Expect sadness. Expect temptation to go back. Don’t shame yourself. Just remind yourself: this is necessary.

Step 4: Communicate (if safe and necessary)

Sometimes, a clear conversation brings closure. Other times, silence is protection. Trust your gut.

Step 5: Remove or Limit Access

Change the locks to your peace. That may mean muting, blocking, or unfollowing.

Step 6: Pour Into Yourself

What hobbies have you neglected? What brings you joy? Return to you.

Step 7: Find or Build Your Village

You don’t need many just real ones. Community is crucial in the healing journey.

Step 8: Repeat as Needed

Sometimes, it’s not just one person. It’s a pattern. Keep choosing yourself. Again and again.

You Deserve to Be Free

Choosing peace over people doesn’t make you cold. It makes you conscious. Your mental health is not up for debate. Letting go is not weakness. It’s wisdom.

You’re not alone. You’re just evolving.