The Butterfly That Feels Broken: A New Mother’s Grief

They said I’d be glowing.

They didn’t say I’d be grieving.

Not grieving a person, but a version of myself that I don’t quite recognize anymore.

Motherhood is beautiful, yes. But it’s also brutal.

No one tells you that the cocoon stage can feel like death before transformation.

No one tells you how lonely it is in the middle when you’re no longer who you were, and not yet who you’re becoming.

In a serene forest, a woman gently holds a butterfly, surrounded by fluttering companions, as the subtle glow illuminates her tranquil expression.

The Truth They Don’t Post About

Becoming a mother shifts everything:

your body, your mind, your circle, your schedule, your dreams, your priorities.

But what doesn’t shift fast enough is support.

We often talk about the baby’s milestones.

But what about the mother’s?

What about the milestone of:

• Returning to a body you barely recognize

• Navigating a mental health storm no one can see

• Going days without adult conversation

• Building a business on 2 hours of sleep

• Raising a child while feeling like one yourself

Where are the celebrations for that?

Grieving While Growing

There’s a grief that lives inside motherhood. A quiet one.

You grieve:

• The freedom you used to have

• The friends who stopped calling

• The identity you sacrificed

• The support you expected

• The softness you lost in survival mode

This isn’t postpartum depression for everyone.

Sometimes it’s postpartum reality.

Butterflies Break Before They Fly

The butterfly metaphor is beautiful, but we forget one thing:

The cocoon is dark.

Tight.

Isolating.

Painful.

Inside that cocoon, the caterpillar completely dissolves.

It becomes unrecognizable before it ever transforms. That’s what motherhood can feel like:

A complete undoing of self.

But it’s also where the wings are formed.

And just because you don’t feel like you’re flying…

doesn’t mean you’re not becoming.

You Are Not Just “Mom”

You are not just a role.

You are not just her mother or his mother or their mother.

You are you.

A woman with dreams, with depth, with desires, with needs.

A soul who matters even when no one asks, “How are you?”

Your mental health matters.

Your voice matters.

Your rest matters.

Your story matters.

To Every Forgotten Mother Reading This:

You are not weak for feeling overwhelmed.

You are not ungrateful for missing your old life.

You are not alone in your grief.

You are transforming.

You are the butterfly carrying the weight of the world in wings still forming.

And you are allowed to ask for help.

You are allowed to want more than survival.

You are allowed to heal, too.

Stay with me. This is only the beginning of the story.

In the next post, we’ll explore what it means to carry the emotional labor no one sees and how it affects our mental health across all forms of motherhood whether you’re working a 9 to 5, building your own brand, or managing a home full-time.

Until then…

Dear Mama, you still matter.

Even if they forgot… don’t you forget.

Grab your copy of the You Matter Too Guide for Mothers & Self-Healing today: https://www.mentallystrongphysicallyfree.com/product-page/you-matter-too-a-mental-health-check-in-guide-for-mothers-self-healing

A comforting guide for mothers, emphasizing the importance of self-care and mental health, reminding them of their sacred needs with a gentle touch.